Worry is a universal human experience, and it often seems our brains are wired to fixate on potential problems or sources of stress. However, chronic worrying can harm our mental and emotional well-being, hindering our ability to enjoy life and accomplish our goals. As someone who once struggled with persistent anxiety, I’ve found techniques and ways of thinking, which help manage worry when it comes, and often keep it at bay.
The Worrier’s Origins
My journey as a worrier began in my childhood. From a young age, I focused on potential hazards or adverse outcomes, no matter how unlikely they were to occur. I hated going to school, and I always remember feeling gut-wrenching worry on Sunday nights, obsessing about the fact the weekend and my freedom were over.
While worry can help anticipate problems, it was a source of stress and unhappiness in this case. As I entered adulthood, the pressures of modern life only exacerbated my predisposition to worry and led to further mental health issues, including panic attacks. I soon realised that I needed to find a way to break this unproductive pattern.
The Power of Mindfulness
Learning to cultivate mindfulness was the first step in my journey to stop worrying. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment non-judgmentally, which can be particularly helpful for those who struggle with chronic worry. I realised the first step in stopping worry was understanding when it was happening. That may sound simpler, but I’d often find myself deep in a moment of depression or on the verge of having a panic attack before realising I was worrying.
By learning the signs and common traits which signified I began worrying, I became better equipped to redirect my thoughts and focus on more constructive concerns. Catching worry before it gets out of control is the best way to stop it from becoming more harmful.
Embracing Uncertainty
It took me a while to understand this, but the desire for certainty and control significantly contributed to my worry. I realised that my worrying was often an attempt to anticipate every possible outcome in the hope that I could avoid potential problems or challenges. However, the reality is that life is inherently uncertain, and it is impossible to predict or control every aspect of our experiences.
Learning to embrace uncertainty was crucial in my journey to stop worrying. I began to accept that I could not anticipate every possible outcome and that sometimes, the best course of action was to let go and trust in my ability to handle whatever might come my way. This mindset shift allowed me to focus on the aspects of my life that I could control, such as my responses to challenges, rather than dwelling on the unknown.
Replacing Worry with Action
Another important strategy for overcoming worry was learning to replace it with action. Instead of ruminating on potential problems or adverse outcomes, I focused on taking concrete steps to address my concerns. For example, I would review my work thoroughly and discuss any uncertainties with a colleague rather than worrying about whether I had made a mistake at work.
This approach allowed me to proactively address potential issues while alleviating my anxiety by demonstrating that I was taking steps to mitigate potential risks.
Cultivating Gratitude and Optimism
Finally, one of the most transformative aspects of my journey to stop worrying was learning to cultivate gratitude and optimism. I began to practice focusing on the positive aspects of my life and expressing gratitude for what was going well. This simple practice helped to shift my mindset from one of constant worry to one of appreciation and hope. In moments when I found a negative thought overwhelming me, I would apply a 2 or 1 rule and would make myself counter the one negative thought with two alternative, optimistic takes.
By embracing gratitude and optimism, I became more resilient in the face of challenges and better able to recognise the positive aspects of even difficult situations. This mindset shift reduced my worry and improved my overall happiness and well-being.
It’s important to realise we can never stop worrying; it’s a natural survival instinct allowing us to foresee and prepare for potential dangers. However, we can learn to stop worrying about worry and prevent negative obsessions and over-worry. Through mindfulness, embracing uncertainty, taking action, and cultivating gratitude and optimism, I have been able to break free from the cycle of chronic worry. And I know that you can too.
